Thursday, October 17, 2002
Thank you to everyone for sticking by me even though I tend to be a massive psycho on occassion.
Imagine dating me!
Paul and I talked for a couple of hours last night. We were laughing for most of it. After he had hung up on me for the second time in a row, I gave it twenty minutes and called back and said: "Isn't it adorable how we scream and yell and one of us hangs up, but then just calls back in 20 minutes to scream and yell again?" He was incredibly sweet last night and although we don't see eye to eye on the fights of the last week, we do understand that both of us have such a deep love and sensitivity to the other person that the littlest thing will push us right off the deep end.
Randy wrote me an email this morning and brought up something that I think is very interesting. He mentioned that Paul and I seem to have a very dramatic relationship and that we are always dealing with something or other.
Now, while this can be true at times, mostly it isn't like this at all. People that read this journal get a partial understanding as to who I am and how I react to things. I come to this journal to write the word "douchebag" and "cunt" and I allow myself to flip out to the point of insanity. In real life, it is rare that I FLIP OUT so intensely. I mean, let's be honest. I have been known to flip out intensely during my life. But not nearly as much as my journal seems to represent. I just like the fact that I can come in here, rant and rave, and walk away feeling a little bit of release.
One thing that should always be understood by my readers: "Joe is the best and Paul is the second best".
:-D
In other news...
(again with that "in other news" shit)
Last night Rita and I welcomed Kelly home. The two of them made dinner for eachother and I hung out for a bit. It was nice to be reunited, if only for an hour or so. Kelly works non-stop this weekend, so we will not see her again until Sunday when we have our next dinner and pumpkin carving adventure! Fun, right? I think my pumpkin is going to be a bodybuilder. Swedish bodybuilder, perhaps.
There is some SHIT going down here at work. Last night there was a HUGE fight that broke out between Ari, myself, and this other woman. If you read Ari's journal, you know her as Doris.
Doris is a BEAST! And yesterday I felt that she crossed the line with her attitude. I had already left work and I came back into the office to tell her that I thought she was unprofessional and out of line. When I started telling her this, she didn't like it so much.
hahaha
who would?
But in any case, she FLIPPED and I just kept egging her on. Eventually she comes out of her office and begins screaming at the top of her lungs. Ari tells her to "SHUT UP, there are students here!", but she keeps on screaming.
OOOOOOOOOH! FUN!
Life is so much better at work when shit is going DOWN!
So last night I jerked off for the first time in like 5 days. I thought that it would feel PRETTY good, but it only felt, well...
good.
But did I pump out about 3 quarts of cum?
Yeah. Yeah I did.
And I KNOW you were dying to hear that delicious story.
Oh!
One important thing...
Last night, Rita talked to her sister Jeannie for awhile on the phone. Jeannie is getting married in about 23 days and we are all kind of freaking out. It will be the first wedding that I have ever been to in my life. I went to one wedding once, but I didn't know the people and it was totally gaylord.
This one though!
This one is going to be for my best friend's sister and I actually got my OWN invite in the mail and I get to bring a date!
(Paul said no, cuz he feels that "we aren't ready for our big coming out party at a straight person's wedding" - so he gets to not go and I will bring Kelly instead. My other boyfriend) I am TOTALLY STOKED about it. I get to dress up in my nicest ballgown and then I get to eat so much good food and then I get to drink so much champagne and then I think I just realized that this is Jeannie's wedding and not mine.
hmph.
In any case, Jeannie had asked to talk to me for a few minutes on the phone, so Rita hands it to me and I'm like "HI!"
We bullshit for a couple of minutes and then Jeannie does something that totally throws me for a loop. A curve ball if you will.
She is like: "I have been reading your journal and I know what you are going through." I act all aloof and I am like: "Oh really? Thanks for thinking of me." Jeannie doesn't accept this answer and dives into a very serious conversation with me about how she feels the same way I do sometimes and how prayer really keeps her strong and and and and...
While I wasn't ready for her to go right for my insecurities, I was able to really let go with her and I walked away from the conversation feeling "healed" in some way.
I find myself always putting on a front with people. Not in a bad way, just in an "I don't want to really show you my true feelings" way. Jeannie doesn't tolerate that Joe. And that is the reason why I absolutely love her to death. I want (certain) people in my life to call out the stops with me. Even though I don't know her all that well, I know so much about her as does she with me. I like that after she stripped me of my walls, she talked with me about what I could do to make myself feel better. She knew what to say because she truly understood me.
Jeannie also believes very furvantly (fervantly? fuhvantly?) in the power of prayer. She informed me that she has been saying quite a few for me these days and that she truly believes that my prayers will be answered. She is a woman of God and I am so thankful to have her on my side.
Thank you Jeannie!
I love you so much and thank you so much for last night.
MWAH!
Baright.
Just about time for lunch.
Time to go slap Rita around for a bit. She is acting all high and mighty today and I think that for lunch she wants a mayonaisse slap. With extra lettuce.
:-D
Imagine dating me!
Paul and I talked for a couple of hours last night. We were laughing for most of it. After he had hung up on me for the second time in a row, I gave it twenty minutes and called back and said: "Isn't it adorable how we scream and yell and one of us hangs up, but then just calls back in 20 minutes to scream and yell again?" He was incredibly sweet last night and although we don't see eye to eye on the fights of the last week, we do understand that both of us have such a deep love and sensitivity to the other person that the littlest thing will push us right off the deep end.
Randy wrote me an email this morning and brought up something that I think is very interesting. He mentioned that Paul and I seem to have a very dramatic relationship and that we are always dealing with something or other.
Now, while this can be true at times, mostly it isn't like this at all. People that read this journal get a partial understanding as to who I am and how I react to things. I come to this journal to write the word "douchebag" and "cunt" and I allow myself to flip out to the point of insanity. In real life, it is rare that I FLIP OUT so intensely. I mean, let's be honest. I have been known to flip out intensely during my life. But not nearly as much as my journal seems to represent. I just like the fact that I can come in here, rant and rave, and walk away feeling a little bit of release.
One thing that should always be understood by my readers: "Joe is the best and Paul is the second best".
:-D
In other news...
(again with that "in other news" shit)
Last night Rita and I welcomed Kelly home. The two of them made dinner for eachother and I hung out for a bit. It was nice to be reunited, if only for an hour or so. Kelly works non-stop this weekend, so we will not see her again until Sunday when we have our next dinner and pumpkin carving adventure! Fun, right? I think my pumpkin is going to be a bodybuilder. Swedish bodybuilder, perhaps.
There is some SHIT going down here at work. Last night there was a HUGE fight that broke out between Ari, myself, and this other woman. If you read Ari's journal, you know her as Doris.
Doris is a BEAST! And yesterday I felt that she crossed the line with her attitude. I had already left work and I came back into the office to tell her that I thought she was unprofessional and out of line. When I started telling her this, she didn't like it so much.
hahaha
who would?
But in any case, she FLIPPED and I just kept egging her on. Eventually she comes out of her office and begins screaming at the top of her lungs. Ari tells her to "SHUT UP, there are students here!", but she keeps on screaming.
OOOOOOOOOH! FUN!
Life is so much better at work when shit is going DOWN!
So last night I jerked off for the first time in like 5 days. I thought that it would feel PRETTY good, but it only felt, well...
good.
But did I pump out about 3 quarts of cum?
Yeah. Yeah I did.
And I KNOW you were dying to hear that delicious story.
Oh!
One important thing...
Last night, Rita talked to her sister Jeannie for awhile on the phone. Jeannie is getting married in about 23 days and we are all kind of freaking out. It will be the first wedding that I have ever been to in my life. I went to one wedding once, but I didn't know the people and it was totally gaylord.
This one though!
This one is going to be for my best friend's sister and I actually got my OWN invite in the mail and I get to bring a date!
(Paul said no, cuz he feels that "we aren't ready for our big coming out party at a straight person's wedding" - so he gets to not go and I will bring Kelly instead. My other boyfriend) I am TOTALLY STOKED about it. I get to dress up in my nicest ballgown and then I get to eat so much good food and then I get to drink so much champagne and then I think I just realized that this is Jeannie's wedding and not mine.
hmph.
In any case, Jeannie had asked to talk to me for a few minutes on the phone, so Rita hands it to me and I'm like "HI!"
We bullshit for a couple of minutes and then Jeannie does something that totally throws me for a loop. A curve ball if you will.
She is like: "I have been reading your journal and I know what you are going through." I act all aloof and I am like: "Oh really? Thanks for thinking of me." Jeannie doesn't accept this answer and dives into a very serious conversation with me about how she feels the same way I do sometimes and how prayer really keeps her strong and and and and...
While I wasn't ready for her to go right for my insecurities, I was able to really let go with her and I walked away from the conversation feeling "healed" in some way.
I find myself always putting on a front with people. Not in a bad way, just in an "I don't want to really show you my true feelings" way. Jeannie doesn't tolerate that Joe. And that is the reason why I absolutely love her to death. I want (certain) people in my life to call out the stops with me. Even though I don't know her all that well, I know so much about her as does she with me. I like that after she stripped me of my walls, she talked with me about what I could do to make myself feel better. She knew what to say because she truly understood me.
Jeannie also believes very furvantly (fervantly? fuhvantly?) in the power of prayer. She informed me that she has been saying quite a few for me these days and that she truly believes that my prayers will be answered. She is a woman of God and I am so thankful to have her on my side.
Thank you Jeannie!
I love you so much and thank you so much for last night.
MWAH!
Baright.
Just about time for lunch.
Time to go slap Rita around for a bit. She is acting all high and mighty today and I think that for lunch she wants a mayonaisse slap. With extra lettuce.
:-D
